Friday, October 24

Hugs and some

did i ever tell you that being a mom is the best thing eveeeerrr?!?!
well, if i did, allow me to say this is INDEED the BEST(eeesssst!) thing ever!

when you're a (single) mom, and you go home at night stressed and burned out from too much work, the last thing you need is a whining kid and crappy home, right? that's exactly how i initially felt last night.

i had initially planned the day to start with an early in and end with a coffee break along with some friends somewhere quite and relaxing. i've been planning for the last couple of days to go out and unwind a bit. Not that i didn't wanna come home early but its just that ive been so distracted lately that i can't focus on anything at all. Even ezra can sense it too. anyway, my friends cannot make it (it was a crashed invite), so left with no choice i went home immediately.

i went looking for ezra the minute i arrived. i saw him crying and whining over something with some kids at my grandma's house. after the kisses, i left him playing since he seemed to be in a good-to-go mood already. starved, i ate my heart out and heed inside our room to change so i can play with him. much to my suprise, ezra was sitting on the bed, positioned as if he was waiting for me all that time! when he saw me coming in, he has this very wide and bright smile plastered all over his face as if its been months since he last saw me!!! he's grinning from ear to ear match with that "beautiful eyes" act. then he stood up in the bed, spread his arms wide and cried out to his heart's content... "Moooommmmmyyyyy!!!!"

that being said and done, SuperMOM didn't wait for any other word...i ran to his arms and hugged him the tightest i can at which he responded with what i believe was his tightest and sweetest hug ever!!! Plus the bonus kisses, i can't contain myself and couldn't help but feel very BLESSED, LUCKY, and THANKFUL for my greatest treasure. with that, tears formed and fell...all joys this time.

so, for the nth time, let me just say...being a SuperMOM is the BESTeeeest thing EVER! and i will always be thankful to God for this little sweet, smart almost big boy.

ps: ezra is still a few months shy from 2 years old. but he can clearly communicate very well through signs and actions. thou he can't form sentences yet, he can already put together some words and phrases for us.

Friday, October 17

You will be missed!

okay. now that ive already gathered myself a bit (done watching the episode the 2nd time), im gonna give you a piece of my mind about the show. and that episode.

while i was watching last season's (season 8) last episode, i already had that slight hunch that something 'not good' will happen to
warrick brown. i thought he might get suspended or beat up or kidnapped. just like what happened to his friend, nick stokes. warrick has such an intense emotional character. i had seen him cry, get mad and even get pissed on the past seasons and episodes of the show, and i have always thought that he is such a fine actor. he had a very passionate character and he carried it out pretty well. i especially like his deep loyalty to his friends, and devotion to his work. he is one of my favorites and i have always loved the entire team.

each of them has a unique character and personality that is just perfect for the show.
i have always love how each of them care and empathize with one another. there is so much passion in the show that i can't even think of a single episode that didn't get my complete attention the entire time i was watching it.

i have loved the show ever since day one. cable or no cable, csi has always been my favorite show. never in my life did i have a dvd collection of any show, or movie for that matter.
and no show has ever touched me as much as csi did. just csi. 'coz sometimes, when you watch a show like this for so long, its like the characters are real. and sometimes it does feel that way. at times, i feel as if im part of the team, of the family. as if their loss is my loss. and it did hurt. and i cried. i cried a lot.

and now, with warrick gone, i can't even begin to imagine how the show would come out the next time. ive been spending some time searching for reasons behind his death (getting him off the show) and rumor has it that he was charged for this various drug-related issues that he had. some claimed that he wanted off the show himself. whichever is true, still the fact remains that he's never coming back.

when the last episode of season 8 was ending, i was already on my feet,
holding my breath as i was watching it. thou it has been a few months since it was shown on tv, i was able to see it only a few weeks ago. so when it ended, ive been trying to stop myself from checking on season 9 spoilers on the net. there was no way im gonna spoil the most thrilling, mind-buggling, heartwrenching, tear-jerking episode of the show! so when the time has come for me to actually watch the full premiere episode of this season, i can't contain myself. tears fall from the very first scene to the last. it was the most heartbreaking csi episode i have ever seen (if my memory serves me right). the sight of his 'father-figure' supervisor gil grissom, holding him in his arms as he was trying to take is last breaths, the sight of grissom pleading him to hold on, the sound of his own blood choking him and just the sight of him lying there in grissom's arms just broke my heart.

what touched me the most was the way his team -his friends, his family - grieved over him and tried so hard to serve him justice and continue his fight. seeing the look on his team's faces made me cry even more! now, there's nothing else i can do. the new episodes are not even online yet. so i guess ill just be left here grieving and thinking about him and the team's loss until i get the chance to see the next one. i hope by then, reality would sink in that this is just a show and it must go on...with or without warrick brown.

ps: just a few more episodes and sara sidle and gil grissom will follow (get off). goodluck to csi. i bet it'll never be the same without their original team. im a GSR fan too, you know. :)

pps: here are the last scenes of "for warrick" episode with grissom's eulogy. also some scenes from the past seasons...

Wednesday, October 15

Goodbye warrick

i cried. im not ashamed of it. i cried infront of my damn pc with my headphones on. i cried from the first scenes to the last...

Gary Dourdan (as Warrick Brown) won a 2003 NAACP Image Award as Best Supporting Actor for his role as Warrick Brown in CSI and has been nominated in the Best Actor category for the role every year since. He has appeared in numerous television shows like "Soul Food," "Muhammad Ali: King of the World," "Swift Justice," "New York Undercover," "Cold Feet" and "Beggars and Choosers."

they killed him! im starting to hate cbs, the producers, the writers, and everyone else involved in killing warrick brown's character!!!

how could they do that?!?!?!!!

their team was the best team i have seen on the tube. i don't care if you think im shallow or stupid or an addict. i know its only a show, but i loved it! i still do. I's done watching the episode a couple of hours ago but i just can't get over warrick being gone!!!

i was initially planning to release this rage thru a loooong blarghhh but i lost interest. im starting to miss him. i can't imagine watching the next csi episode (and the episodes after that) without him!

ive had a few episodes without sara sidle,and i managed coz i know she'll be back. But warrick brown killed????!!!! there's no turning back! ive read articles about gary dourdan(the actor) having issues because of his habits/addictions/etc., but getting him off the show is not fair!!! how about suspension? or leave? just anything! but not getting his character off the show!!! arghhhh!!!!!!

im still mad and pissed right now that i can't even start searching for the next episode! i just have to vent this all out. but i guess im left with no choice. :(

goodbye warrick.

i just hate cbs.

SuperMOM is flirting

i can just imagine my little kid yelling, "shame on you mom!"

it happened last night. im not good with flirting, never was. i was on a ride home when the guy sitting next to me striked out a conversation. he kinda looked familiar, like someone from the neighborhood. then i found out that he is indeed living in the same village as i am and also happened to be a friend of a friend. So there, we ended up talking (and laughing a bit)...

...i can still remember the very first time i "think" i flirted. i was only 13 then and I didn't even remember who the guy was! but what i remember was me and and a guy ( i think he was some guy i liked back in high school) talking and laughing when another guy from our class (his name is albert! yeah, i STILL remember him!) looked at me in the eye and said, "you're so flirtatious!!!" i swear, he said it with so much feelings (jud)! What the?! i didn't even know what THAT word meant that time (im a late bloomer so i had no idea about these things then). i can't remember what happened next but i bet the guy got it and we stopped talking.

well, the liberals might think, twenty-four-year-olds don't flirt! they either go on a date, hop to bed, or tie the knot. they don't just flirt! while most of you would think i am indeed flirtatious, a biy*tch or something. i don't care. somehow, i did enjoy it for a little actually be in a casual talk as if we're young, single, and carefree. don't get me wrong, being a mom is the best thing everrrrrr!!!

anyway, i was never a looker and im not a "hot mama" either. I don't go out on dates or parties. Once in awhile, my friends and i go out for a ktv or an occasionally drinking session, but thats it. So the dating-flirting field was never (and will never be) my thing.

ps: don't worry, if ever i'll be dating again,trust me, you'll be the first to know! *wink

Monday, October 13

Give and Save

this morning, i stumble upon this scenario on the web: you're given the opportunity to donate some money to a desperate family who would use it to feed their children, but were only able to do so if you donated the same amount of money to someone you knew would use it to buy crack. Would you do it?

what would YOU do? i took me a while to absorb it. could this be a trick question? then i realize, it could happen. if i find myself in that situation, would i really do it?

the answer is YES. i would certainly donate it. i would never let that opportunity pass, never let one (good) deed undone just because i disapprove of another. but what about the crackhead? so what? with or without my money, he'd find ways to get that crack. denying him the money wouldn't save him from getting high, but giving the money to the family would definitely save them from hunger.

it always breaks my heart whenever i see a homeless child begging for food on the streets. i never wanted to judge their parents 'coz God knows what hell they went through, but at times i just wanted to blame them! i wonder how on earth can they sleep at night knowing their children (as young as 2 or 3) are out in the streets at night lurking for chances to grab something to fill their empty stomachs. the unlucky ones would just sleep through the night hoping to just drive the hunger away. almost everyday i get a glance of these children staying/posting near establishments and restos in the area and it just kills me. im not rich, and im far from comfortable. i am just like any other single mom working my butt off for my kid but if something like this falls my way, i'd certainly know what to do.

anyway, like i said, my answer is yes and it will always be a yes.
and you, what would YOU do?



i really got so caught up with finding the right template/theme for this new blarghhh that I didn't even notice the time. I didn't even care to LOOK at the clock embedded right on the bottom of the pc! now guess what? its raining!!! its raining friggin' hard!

what can i say? good luck to me? maybe its a sign. no, definitely its a sign!
so, il just continue blogging my ass off 'till the rain slows down, hows that? and God only knows when thats gonna happen. anyway, since im trapped in here let me just share a few things im starting to like about this host(?)/site/blog/whatever.

-it is soooo user-friendly. that is quite obvious but i just want to say that i really like it. if im really much of a writer/blogger, then i would definitely be using this one.

-the features are almost unlimited. im not sure yet but i think you can attach and keep track of as many links and codes as you want (as you can handle). Some other sites don't allow users to embed html codes or other features available online. I especially like it 'coz i can keep links of other sites and blogs which also have the same areas of interest as mine (i.e kid stuff, parenting, etc.).

-it has somekind of a community. the chances of you meeting other people of the same interest, hobbies, or issues as you is somewhat higher compared to other sites (i came across a LOT of networks and online communities that support and encourage "mom-blogging", and give tips and advices to anyone who needs one.)

wait...the sound of rain is fading! lemme just check.

It IS stopping! i guess that was only a short one. short and heavy. guess i better be going before it starts pouring again. 'till next time...

ps: am i making sense? whatever.

Bake that CAKE!

Almost everyone i know knew i have a long list of frustrations...from childhood dream and hobbies to college course and dream jobs. but right now, one of those frustrations was triggered again---baking. yeah dude, i love baking. or make that "i love the thought that im good with baking!". all my life, i've wanted so much to learn how to cook, bake, and design. we have these cabinet at home half-filled with cooking/baking books and recipes, but i just didn't have the time and the tools to try them.

anyway, i would love to try baking sometime. cake baking and designing to be more specific. i've been spending the last few days browsing some sites (yeah, the power of no pressure again! :p) that might divulge/reveal some self-help learning tips and techniques without having to enroll myself into some kind of culinary school. i've also wanted to try culinary before but time is never a luxury for me.

now, im quite inspired to try and overcome(?) this frustration of mine, even if it means i need to start from scratch. i don't have much free time but patience is always a virtue, right? so i'll just take it slow...

also, one of the reasons why i wanna venture into cake baking and designing is its so damn fun and its so convenient for own consumption! i wanna be the one to make and design my kid's birthday cakes, my sisters' wedding cakes, or any other cake. i would also love to focus on birthday cakes especially for kids. and if talented na jud kay ko, i'll make this a money-making venture. haha ambisyosa!!! guys, just give me a chance...its only here that i can release and rant about this.

some samples that inspired me...

and these cakes...

i especially like the ones with fondants and all...sooooo nice and yummy!!!
BTW, if there's anyone out there who knows how to bake even if they're just the basics, i could very well use some tips and tutorial(?). =)

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